Read book idea for first time writer please?

Your actual storyline is quite good and it's an imaginative concept but you'd need to write it so it doesn't sound so storyboard like. It seems your running through events too quickly and you should really explore all the emotion behind each action and make it more realistic so that readers can relate. I am also trying to write a book at the moment and although your plot is complex and intriguing it isn't the sort of thing that would catch my eye. I would pro bally write it off as boring from the back so you'd need to include more aspects of other topics to keep a wider target audience - i.e. romance or family. I completely understand that is not the genre of your book and I appreciate how trying it can be to find a good story idea but I'd stick with your idea if elabourate a bit more. Hope this has been of some help but if it hasn't then what the hell. One more opinion can't hurt.