I should be dead why am i still breathing?

At the ages of 5, 7, and 13 i tried hanging myself but each time the rope snapped. Just last year i was hit by a S.U.V. and got up and walked away with only a dime sized bruise. Now i've developed epilepsy, i'm tired of all this bullshit. I'm tired of waking from a state where i don't remember anything and seeing everyone around me fearing the worst and crying. what should i do? should i try again or keep on moving?